im so confused about it................dun wanna t (go back »)

am i livin a lie????

AM i a lie??!!!!!!!

humph........

DATE: 26th of August

MOOD: wallowin in self pity..........................filled with self doubt..................(kinda pictured that from what was written above right?)

wellllllllll.......aloha everybody again..........................the queens back again...............(could anybody tell me where she is?).......................my humours is temporarily ruptured....(ok...when exactly wasnt it???)...................and im in one of those moments where the greats of this world(ahem) feel themselves to be worthless pieces of ##%%#$ shit............and i need YOUR help to get me back into shape (how ur gonna do that u ask??? i have no clue either)

just yesterday i went through what every girl could call pure torture............my friends suddenly found it "fun" (pure evil!!) to talk (ok.....vehemently spit!! is more like it) about everything even remotely related to me...............well its not as if  my waterworks start flowing everytime anybody tells me how much my hair resembles a freshly used mop..........but cmon! have a heart!!! how many times am i gonna hear the same ol'.."ohhhhhhh....looks like your zits have reduced...no wait!! that aint ur face!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i try to take it in my stride.....laugh at it....but how much can a gal take???

i was thinking about how under confident i can be when it comes to sayin no!!! i end up in the worst of situations (willingly mind you) with no option but to agree to do whatever im told....why?? Coz i cant say fuckin NO!!!! i wonder if my friends would do the same for me.......i dont like thinkin of what would happen if i were in their place (friend: wut?? u serious??? pfffttt.....gellost!)

yea.... i kno i kno.....im being a bitch.....but u kno wut.....i guess i am a bitch....but....but ......im a PROUD bitch!!!! ....yes you heard me.....this is the one place where i get to flush out all that shit i keep inside me when i go through crap.....so im entitled to some bitchiness myself......

and people say im underconfident.......HAH!!!

if they would just prod in to know a little more about me....

and people say m boring.....hmmm...

now thats something i wonder about most of the times.....define boring......what is it??? the fact that you cant make people laugh? i can do that.....perhaps....you cant initiate a convo???

i can do that....

i guess people dont give you a chance

thats why i hate stereotypes and pre conceived perceptions ....i know a lot about that......

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i guess im done with my weekly flushing...

hope ill be able to come in later for some more business.....

till then......W/C UNOCCUPIED

chao